So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
40s are totally the cure
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
