i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
