ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
