I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
