I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So many bounce houses so little time
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
