We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
