Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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