well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
