Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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