I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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