Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
