I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
