no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
