that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
