He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
