it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
