Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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