Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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