pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
