It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
