And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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