I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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