"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
