just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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