Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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