I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
