wat bout pragnant strippers??
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
