We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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