Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
