your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
