I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
