we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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