omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
