hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
