i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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