Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
