I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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