I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
