: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
