Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
