If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
