I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
