I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
