I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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