If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
