so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
