My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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