bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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