Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
