Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
