a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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